Shopping Carts Gone Wild

Do you ever get the feeling you’re out of step with modern life? I try to fit in but I can’t seem to get the hang of it. Some folks my age probably slid into the 21^st century without a second thought. They’re the lucky ones. Some of us oldsters have a hard time adjusting to the current way where basic etiquette rules are ignored. I’ll give you an example.

Before Flash left for his final season on the Great Lakes freighter, Joseph L. Block, he gave me his cold. I told him to keep it, but he insisted on sharing, so for eight days I was trailer bound. Last week I felt good enough to drive to town. Naturally, I stopped at Walmart, and that’s where I found shopping carts gone wild. Some were facing each other as if preparing for a duel. Others had formed random circles, blocking parking places. Most were scattered helter-skelter, and a few had toppled from the wind.

The majority of carts were inches from their corral.

It mystifies me why shoppers empty their cart and leave it standing instead of corralling it. As I age, I’m becoming more like Mom every day, and I heard her say, “Are people too lazy or just too stupid to push the carts where they belong?” Well, maybe I’m stretching things a bit. I don’t recall if it was Mom’s voice or my own I heard.

Perhaps I was perturbed because Flash’s cold was still lingering or maybe I was simply out of patience. Either way, if there’s one thing that bugs me it’s shopping carts blocking parking spots. It only takes a minute for a person to walk a few more steps and leave the cart where it belongs. If they’re in one place, I imagine retrieval is much easier for the fellows who round them up. Shopper ignorance or laziness forces employees to chase after carts as if they were a herd of delinquent cattle.

Shopping can be fatiguing and financially draining so it’s understandable why some folks lack the energy to take another step. My solution is simple. Walmart should consider hiring college students to act as Certified Cart Pushers. These agile youngsters would assist tired shoppers who don’t have the strength to push their cart to their vehicle, let alone continue walking to the cart’s designated return. Think of the aggravation this would eliminate for people like me.

Everyone would win. Employment opportunities for the young would increase. Student loans would decease. Lazy folks would remain unnoticed. Rude behavior would disappear. And never again would I have to channel Mom when I couldn’t find a parking place because of shopping carts gone wild.