Thursday, March 12, 2015

Keystone: Pipeline or Kops



Sometimes you have to scratch your head and wonder if anyone in the U.S. Congress has the brains of a Keystone Kop. The incompetent bobbleheads in Washington are reminiscent of the rag-tag fictional police force of 100 years ago. All combined, they appear to lack the common sense of a headless barnyard chicken. If anyone has been listening, the answer to the fourth and final phase of the Keystone XL pipeline is simple. Keep it in Canada.

            About 40% of the pipeline has already been completed with segments in Nebraska, Oklahoma, and Texas. The remaining 60% is creating outrage on both sides. The Rosebud Sioux Tribe in South Dakota has made it clear they consider any invasion of their treaty lands as “an act of war.” The pipeline is a threat to sacred burial grounds and the Ogallala Aquifer, destruction of which would permanently impact the tribe’s water source.

             Those paragons of greed, the Koch brothers, hold significant leases in northern Alberta tar sands oil fields and stand to increase their wealth from the pipeline. Although their names are rarely mentioned, they are perhaps the strongest driving force behind this project. The more they grease the hands of politicians of both major parties, the more likely the pipeline completion.

It is possible two rich brothers will decide the fate of millions of Americans who have no idea what the pipeline entails and have bobbled their heads “in favor” of the project due, in part, to the relentless Fox “News” propaganda machine. Canada has said from the inception the oil traveling to Gulf Coast refineries will not necessarily benefit the U.S. Our State Department predicts a mere 50 permanent jobs will be created. No one disputes this number.

            Let’s recap. An American Indian tribe is threatening litigation. Environmentalists are cautioning a pipeline rupture would be equivalent to the 2010 BP Gulf disaster. A Cornell University study reported U. S. gas prices will increase because Canadian oil now going to the Midwest will be diverted to Keystone. Extracting the oil may not be economically sound for investors. Nobody knows the final export destination. Focus is shifting from the merits of the pipeline to the ability of Congress to flex political muscle and override a presidential veto.       

            Who ultimately benefits from Keystone XL? As oil prices temporarily drop, it seems no one in the short run and there’s the rub. Koch boy capitalists have an eye to the future. The long haul predicts Keystone will make them richer than King Midas. Remember him? Everything he touched turned to gold. Even the dirt beneath his fingernails matched the golden nails in his coffin.

            Greed, whether for power or money, is an insatiable master. 
           
                

Navigating a Minefield of Words

              
            Do you ever feel like every time you open your mouth you say the wrong thing? I don’t know why it is, but some people have a knack for offending others, while other people have a gift for appeasing everybody. Call it charm, wit, or manipulation, we all know folks who can get away with the most outlandish remarks. If we said the same thing, it would be considered offensive or rude. I just don’t get it.

            Dad had the wit and charm of a genuine Irishman. He could disarm anyone as fast as Ali could deliver a one-two punch. I wish I could say I inherited his cheerful blarney, but such is not always the case.

I’ll give you a few examples. When I was about 10, the phone company ran a party line down our sideroad. Our number was 38J, either two shorts and a long or one long and two shorts, I don’t remember. Anyway, using the phone was a privilege, not the mandatory third hand it is today. In other words, I didn’t grow up with a telephone and to this day do not enjoy talking on one. About a month ago, I mentioned my indifference regarding the phone to an acquaintance and haven’t heard from her since.

Then there’s the bossy lady friend who got on my nerves. She often called me unpleasant names, but I overlooked her insults for a long time because she was old and funny. Then one day she stretched my tolerance to the max, and I returned a dose of her medicine. That was two years ago. No word from her since, either.

            Turning the clock way back to 1986, a relative thought I should get out more and invited me to an Al Anon meeting. I attended about three sessions. I kept quiet as I listened to the women gripe about their husbands. Week after week it was the same thing. Finally I couldn’t stand it any longer and told the gals if I were married to one of them, I’d drink too. You can just about imagine how that went over.

            My poor friend, Flash. He’s always taking something I say the wrong way, jumping in his truck, and running home. If he lived closer, he’d save a small fortune in gas bills, but I guess that’s just the way it goes.
           
            Well anyway, I keep hoping one of these days Dad’s droll genes will visit me, but until then I’ll keep a roll of duct tape handy. I might look silly with my mouth taped shut, but it might eliminate a lot of relationship problems. You know what I mean, don’t you?